I am pretty certain I will be the only person reading this. Hey, I'm not all that exciting. But, I feel the need to write and I don't much care who reads it (or doesn't). I'm just trying to sort out my life. You would think that after 40-some-odd-years I would have completed this process. No, I have not. I do feel that I am a mostly fortunate person. I have a great job (no small feat in this economy) and a wonderful partner (not married, been there/done that/no thanks). We live a really nice life.
The part that doesn't work for me is my family (outside of The King (my partner) and my dog). My family imploded about 27 years ago when my parents divorced and life has pretty much never been the same since. I know there are some in my family who think all in all, that things are much better since. That it was all worth it. But, it has damaged me in ways that cannot ever be repaired. I spent many many years feeling completely worthless, utterly alone and abandoned by the two people who brought me in to the world. Even years later, it still has the ability to make me very sad. Some of what I want to discover here is how to truly move on. It seems that I can spend so much time (years at a stretch) not giving this a bit of thought, and then something happens and I'm plunged right back into the darkness. I want to be free of this forever and I hope to make it happen someday soon.
